The interview I didn’t expect to give
Motherhood, addiction, grief, recovery — here’s the story behind the story.
Earlier this year, I was sitting outside Sunlife drinking a smoothie when a group of guys at the next table started laughing.
“We’re sorry,” one of them said, “but your shirt is great. Provocative… but great.”
I was wearing my Keep Austin Fuck You shirt.
We got to talking. They asked what I did; I told them I had a newsletter called Unfucking Midlife and that I was, in real time, doing exactly that. Spencer, one of the guys, mentioned he had a podcast and asked if I’d come on.
It took me months to say yes. Fun fact: despite how comfortable I look on Instagram Reels and TikToks, put me behind a mic with another human in the room and I freeze. Ask me my life story and I’ll suddenly forget I have one.
What I didn’t expect was for the conversation to go where it did: my path of recovery, losing my mom to addiction, the emotional bottom I hit after the kids’ dad died, and the tools I’m using today to navigate my relationships without running, cheating, or drinking over it.
When the interview aired, I felt compelled to listen. The truth is, I walked out of the recording and when my boyfriend asked how it went I said, I think I broke the eleventh tradition. I spent almost most of the time talking about my recovery. It was a conversation I had never really had. At least not in one sitting.
Here’s how Spencer described the episode:
In this raw and real episode of Coursen’s Corner, Spencer Coursen sits down with Ashley Kelsch—writer, entrepreneur, and deeply reflective creative—for a powerful conversation on motherhood, addiction, grief, emotional recovery, and what it means to unfuck midlife.
Ashley shares her personal evolution from building a bold business like Teddies for Betty’s to hitting rock bottom emotionally after the loss of her children’s father, dealing with substance use, and re-evaluating life after becoming an empty nester.With wisdom, humor, and hard-earned grace, she walks us through the highs and lows of entrepreneurship, sobriety, parenting, identity, and healing. This is an unfiltered, honest discussion about how to face pain without running, and how to rebuild life—on your terms.
I’ve been circling around the idea of sharing more about my story here, but everything I wanted to say felt too big for a single post. Then I remembered this interview.
The longer I live on this side of sober, the more the past reshapes itself. The more the story makes sense, not because it was painless but because it was mine. And, dare I say, it is starting to feel like it had a kind of purpose.
Byron Katie has that line:
It was always meant to happen this way. How do we know?
Because it did.
Wild what the simple practice of acceptance can give you.
If you listen, I’d love to hear your thoughts.
Otherwise, tell me in the comments:
What’s a chapter of your life that only makes sense in hindsight?
Timestamps:
[00:00 - 07:29] – Starting over: Podcasting, ADHD, entrepreneurship, and the struggle to stay visible
[07:29 - 14:58] – Parenting as avoidance, becoming an empty nester, and respecting kids’ boundaries
[14:58 - 22:28] – Ashley’s writing journey: journaling, feedback loops, and emotional clarity
[22:28 - 29:57] – Early adulthood: addiction, the Seattle grunge scene, and her escape to Maui
[29:57 - 37:26] – Moving to Austin after loss, and the bold creation of Teddies for Betty’s
[37:26 - 44:56] – Entrepreneurship burnout, internalized alcoholism, and the pressure to perform
[44:56 - 52:25] – Wine culture, solo drinking, emotional disconnect, and hitting the wall
[52:25 - 59:54] – Accepting addiction, sobriety clarity, and letting go of performative living
[59:54 - 1:07:24] – Grief and rebirth: confronting her mother’s mental illness and addiction
[1:07:24 - 1:14:53] – Breaking generational trauma and forgiving without false positivity
[1:14:53 - 1:22:22] – Suicidal ideation, post-recovery numbness, and reclaiming purpose
[1:22:22 - 1:29:52] – From trauma response to true self-awareness: building emotional tools
[1:29:52 - 1:37:21] – Holding space for grief, healing the inner child, and rediscovering joy
[1:37:21 - 1:44:50] – Reflecting on the entrepreneurial past, emotional burnout, and rebirth
[1:44:50 - 1:52:20] – Final thoughts on love, loss, identity, and living with intention